All the Boys, I Mean Men, In My Life

In every story a man will ever tell you, there will always, always, always be a girl, if not many. Spiderman’s was Mary Jane Watson. Anakin Skywalker’s was Queen Amidala. Even friggin’ Mickey Mouse had Minnie Mouse. The same goes for girls. As much as I had vowed to never ever speak about men in this blog, it is, however, inevitable. After all, much of the important chapters of my life had a male character revolved around it, whether it is with or without my conscience.

On the day I hopped on the train on a five-hour ride to my hometown, it was 6.30 p.m. and the sun was just setting. From my window I could see the sun setting behind the series of mountains of Titiwangsa, and the rays of orange sunlight against the green carpet of tropic jungle was absolutely stunning. I sat cross legged covered in a flannel blanket (travelling tip: flannel blankets equal ten times the comfort!) and on the other side of the aisle a cute guy was sitting there smiling at me. Now I don’t mean to brag but any 22 year-old gal worth her salt knows ‘the smile’. You know, that smile a guy gives you when he’s interested in making conversation but is way too shy. It’s incredibly flattering, and believe me, on any given day I would probably respond with the ‘Try harder stupid!’ smile signal, but on this day not so much.

Instead I kept thinking back about all those boys/guys. All those boys/guys that ever existed in my life. Ones I dated, ones I almost dated, ones I dated and then proceeded to have relationships with, ones who broke my heart, ones whose hearts I broke. What does it mean? Why did I meet all these men? I am a huge believer that everyone we met in this world, we meet for a reason. Therefore I can never say that I regret meeting any of them, because surely it was all part of the 'bigger plan'. Yes, even that guy who liked me but throughout the relationship I was 50% sure that he was gay.

Sometimes I think I’ve seen it all (but I haven't, I know, I know). The guy who was so clingy I felt like babysitting a five year old. The guy who liked me too much it was like dating a stalker. The guy who couldn’t stop talking about how hot he thinks his ass is. The guy with the lowest self esteem he almost passed out when we had a fight. The guy who was so drunk I had to stand five feet away to avoid the terrible alcohol smell. In the midst of me meeting them, and learning so much from these characters, I also learned that as much as it is wrong for you to think that marriage will fix everything and becomes the only key to happiness, it is also wrong to think that the guy who is perfection would make a good relationship with you. Imperfection is the new perfection, or so I heard Kate Moss said.

There isn’t a single guy that I have met that I wished I didn’t. As screwed up as that relationship may have been, they really helped me grow up. That’s why I hate it when I read self help books/articles that refer to men as these unrecognizable creatures whom you have to proceed with caution, which you have to treat as if they are programmed robots (although they do make some casing point, you men do revolve most of your thoughts around one thing only, and we all know what that one thing is LOL). Most of the men I met have (thank God!) brains. And most of you are smart, funny, awesome people to have fun with. But I stress the word most. Remember that guy who was so drunk to even put two words together? Yawwwwnnn.

The Soundtrack of My Life

Trouble (Coldplay) – Beautiful, Cold/Freezing, Quiet mornings in Perth
Coast to Coast (Westlife) – Mom and Dad in the car when I was younger. They were huge fans of Westlife
Zikir Zaman (Ramli Sarip) – Dad in his patriotic mood
Better man (Robbie Williams) – Dad melayan jiwang, preferably in the car
Stop Right Now (Spice Girls) – Childhood in UK. Obsession with the Spice Girls to the extent of sticker and bubble-gum collection.
Strawberry Swing (Coldplay) – A really good night in the city. Good weather, good friends, the river reflecting the entire city lights. With coffee in one hand.
Dua Tiga Kuching Berlari (Lullaby) – Opah putting babies to sleep (myself included)
Because You Love Me (Celine Dion) – Mom cooking in the kitchen, while wishing she could watch TV instead.
River Flows in You (Piano by Yiruma) – Don’t feel down about all the bad dates you have. Some people have seriously tragic love stories.
Ordinary Day (Vanessa Carlton) – I wish I could play the piano. Oh wait maybe I should learn how to do that…
Down (Jay Sean) – Table dancing at the ladies’ night
Why can’t I (Liz Phair) – Teenage years obsessing over my first boyfriend
Steer (Missy Higgins) – I want to climb mountains, discover cities, eat pasta in small Italian villages and see the rest of the world!
Only Hope (Mandy Moore) – Raudhatul Akmal. One particular rainy afternoon in boarding school, she and I were lying down on the cold cement floor of the dormitory listening to my dodgy walkman to this very song. Ever since then every time I hear it I kept thinking of that exact moment.
Who Let the Dogs Out? (Baha Men) – That slut needs some serious bitch-slapping
God is The Light (Yusuf Islam) – One of those rare moments when I’m contempt with just being myself and wanting to become a better person.
Single Ladies (Beyonce) – Who needs men?
Hey Jude (The Beatles) – Sigh. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a date right now.
The Blower’s Daughter (Damien Rice) – Cloudy sunsets at the beach
Tell Me Baby (Red Hot Chili Peppers) – Seriously kick-ass concerts, loud crowds and lots of sweat
Just Around the Riverbend (Pocahontas, Disney) – Is-this-all-there-is-to-my-life mood
Somewhere Only We Know (Keane) – Rainy misty mornings in London
Yellow (Coldplay) – Love and all the crazy things we do for it
Scandalous (Mis-Teeq) – Victoria’s Secret models
Radio (Ne-yo) – Road Trip to Bintulu, 2006. No radio coverage, just one CD. And this same song kept playing over and over again.
May It Be (Anya) – Sitting on top of a green hill on a nice day and sketching the view.
Happy (Leona Lewis) – A guy I know.

The City

Times Square New York. Definitely a must-see place before you die.

The city means different things to different people. For some it’s a place where they grew up, and they knew of no other place than the tall buildings and the shopping malls. For some it’s a place where they chase dreams (this may be divided into two, ambitions or rich men in good suits). For some it’s just a holiday destination. For the rest of us, well, we’re not really sure what we’re doing here just yet.

There are two sides of the city. One that I like and one that I totally despise. The part that I like is that at night the lights are gorgeous and it always seems alive. You get up, dress up and show up. I love the fact that you’ll always have an excuse to dress up and look nice. You meet friends and good people, and eat good food and have a good laugh and a good time. And you meet all these people – some you like, some you really, really like, some you don’t, but at the end of the day you feel like your life has witnesses. Like if you were gone tomorrow these people would say, ‘hey, I knew that girl.’ You become a part of this incredible chain of humans and you feel like you’re living the high life of a twenty-two year old. The right way any other twenty-two year old should be living.

Then there’s the harsh side of it. You wake up, go to work, go back home, and before you know it your day is over. You get stuck in a public transport for hours where a certain tall guy would stand over you and dude, please get a deodorant stick or something! All those time, working and travelling, that’s the time in your life you will never, ever get back. And then you get this feeling like you’re only a part of a herd – like a herd of sheep, almost. There is a routine. You won’t often find days where you wake up and you know something exciting or different is going to happen. You all do the same things, but you’ll never speak or know things about each other. In a city, you know you are never alone, but you’ll always feel alone.

Nevertheless I do miss it a lot. I think it has something to do with the fact that when I go back home from work, I’ll walk out of the office in Twin Towers and I see tourists taking pictures of it. And then I think to myself, ‘Better yet, I am actually working here!’ and then I go out for drinks with friends and have a good time, and when I go back I’ll sit next to the guy who just came back from construction work, and it makes me feel grateful because some people have it worse than I do. And then right before I go to sleep, that small space of moment, I feel totally alone and it’s quiet and dark and this really is, believe it or not, one of the things I look forward to the whole day.

All Aboard! 2010 is Here!

I'm beginning to question the true magical powers of a coconut drink. They're known to be very healing, and I would know this because last year my cat got sick so we fed it some coconut drink and wa-la! He got all better (that, or he's just sick of same ol' plain water and cat cookies). So you would think that on New Year's weekend, I had a weekend holiday by the Prt Dickson Beach and had no less (I swear this is true) than 6 coconut drinks I would be at the prime of my health. But nooo. Come Monday I had a fever, flu, cough and a sore throat.

Sickness aside. After I got back from this TOTALLY FANTASTIC New Year getaway with my four best girlfriends (Paris Hilton can say whatever the hell she wants, but you girls are the best BFFs ever!), I realised that sometimes things just couldn't happen in a better timing. This year I'll be starting off as an official working gal, just graduated, new office, new boss, high heels everyday all day (all hail the guy who created high heels. He deserves a Nobel Prize), new friends, new love interest. So celebrating New Year by getting away with your oldest friends who always knew you best is the perfect beginning to 2010. Keeps my feet on the ground and my priorities in check. Highlights on the weekend trip:
- The MASSAGE. I wanted to ask the masseuse to please adopt me.
- Charades, in which Zaza demonstrated the movie 'Species' with acts that would make her Mom hit her with a broomstick.
- Odah's ability to not like karaoke, banana boat, and guitar-jamming but managed to have loads of fun anyway.
- My near-concussion incident in which I hit my head against Zaza's ass. I know you had bruises, honey, but I can't even remember my Grampa's name no more.
- DJ's answer to everything = whatever/I'm totally fine with it/boleh aje
- Hana wearing a kaftan on the way back from PD to home (honestly, you can't get much more 'aunty' that that. Lol!)

Now I know this is already a week old, but what is the New Year without new resolutions?
1. I will discover at least one new city/country.
2. I will watch something, live (concert, local band gigs, football game, anything!)
3. I will not revolve my life around boys, and instead revolve boys around MY life (not that I've ever slammed the breaks of my life around a guy, but in this new working environment, a girl's gotta remind herself not to do that, over and over again)
4. Learn to cook something new (yes, I know the whole lemon roasted chicken incident went off into flames. So maybe try something simpler and more achievable?)
5. Learn a new skill (have not yet decided between sewing, playing a musical instrument or learning French)
6. Join a charity (and not just give money. More like actually lending physical energy into it)
7. Get at least one 'tick' in the To-Do List of My Life.

Happy New Year! Have a great one!

The Reunion (Albeit a Little Way Past Eid Day)

The day before Eid Day my family and I, all six of us, packed our bags into the car boot and went on a five hour drive to Kuala Lumpur, where we were supposed to celebrate this year’s Eid Day with my father’s side of the family. How do I describe my father’s side of the family? Hmm. If you know me well, I would tell you to picture me on my highest sugar-level state. Then picture a whole house filled with people exactly like me in my highest sugar level state. If you don’t know me, I would then tell you to picture 20 Chris Rock in the same room.

My grandfather just came back from a trip to Europe with my Aunt. My Grandad is in his late 70s (or early 80s), smokes about probably 10 cigarettes a day and tends to repeat the same stories for about 20 times. My cousins told me about an interesting incident that occurred when they were in Spain. In an effort to make sure that my Grandad will be fine in case they lose him while travelling the city, my cousins taught him some basic words in Spanish – one of them being the word ‘Thank you (Gracias, in Spanish)’.
Attempt 1
Cousin: Atok (Grandfather), how do you say thank you in Spanish?
Atok: Err…. Wasiat!
(Wrong. Indeed, ‘wasiat’ is a Malay word which means ‘death will’.)
Attempt 2
Cousin: Atok, how do you say thank you in Spanish?
Atok: Err… Graciat!
(Wrong again. ‘Graciat’ is neither a valid Malay word nor a Spanish word)
Attempt 3
Cousin: Atok, how do you say thank you in Spanish?
Atok: Err…. Gracias!
(Everyone sighs in relief)
Anyway, what our family would do when we get together on Eid Day is have a giant brunch, consisting of all the heavy spicy Malaysian cuisine. After we’re stuffed we would get into our cars and make a road trip convoy to visit all our relatives, some which we only see this once a year, all around Kuala Lumpur, and the state of Selangor and Negeri Sembilan.
Total cars in convoy: 5
Total days of road trip: 3
Number of participants: 7 parents
11 young adults (>20 years old)
4 teenagers
1 child
Number of houses visited: more than 12
Number of cute guys seen: 1
All in all, this could probably be one of the best Eid Days I have ever celebrated in my life! Life does not get any better than good food, good family and friends and good jokes.