New Year - Time to Shut Up and Stop Complaining. Hip Hip Hooray.

Today is 2009. This year I'll start working, and I'll be waving those years and lifetime attending classes goodbye. I remembered an earlier time when my father was teaching me how to use the toilet properly. I remembered the few times my mother would come home from the hospital with a new baby - my younger sister and my two brothers. I remembered my old school bag with a picture of a cartoon swan at the front zipper. I remembered the little things, the familiar scent of my nanny when I was younger, those junk food i bought after school, that lifetime when the world is a happy place, when I have a mother and a father and a family and friends and school.

I also remembered a vital portion of my life - my complaints. I complain about everything. I wished my handbags are more expensive. I wished my life is more adventurous. I wished I was richer. I wished I didnt have to go to school and spend more time doing anything I want to do. Most of all I liked to complain that my life is not satisfactory enough, like there are so many things waiting for me to do.

Humans are designed to be ungrateful. That is why older men face mid-life crisis and teenagers rebel, why girls want to be skinnier and chidlren think parents are getting in their ways. We are designed to always want more and keep complaining. I am a true example of these people. So to have a resolution to stop complaining would probably be utterly impossible, for me or for anyone else. It's like defying how we were made.

Sometimes when I think about it, I honestly, and I'm not just saying this - loathe myself. I get scared that one day, maybe, God will be tired of listening to my complaints that He would stop giving me anything anymore. Last night was the new year's eve and all I ever did was complain that I did not have a proper celebration, like going out with friends and watching fireworks and screaming and yelling for no reason in excitement in the Perth city. I complained that my life was boring. After midnight I was reading 'Yahoo News' and it said that children died in Palestine during the bombing. Adults too. So as I was complaining about my boring New Year's Eve, simultaneously as I was speaking, a mother had lost her child, a girl had lost a brother, someone was not able to say a proper goodye to her father, and a boy could not even find the pieces of his dead mother.

As I thought about this I wondered why God did not send someone, or something, to come and slap me right across my face and to tell me to SHUT UP AND STOP COMPLAINING. Because God understands that men reap what they sew, that men are selfish, self-centered and have no appreciation on how lucky they are. I'd bet that while I was complaining that my clothes were out of season and my laptop is too old, someone on the darker side of the world, Palestine, say, would give anything to have my life.

So this year, I am going to make a new resolution. The old ones would still be affective of course, those same old resolutions that I've always had, like losing a few pounds, working out more, sleep less etc. But besides that, I will add one more thing to my resolution.

I want to do something that has nothing to do with myself and my benefits.

I'm not sure exactly what it is. Maybe I'll volunteer for a charity, maybe in a few years I will adopt an orphan, maybe I will spend my Christmas holidays helping out refugees in some other countries. I have not figured out exactly what it is that I want to do, but I will definitely do it. My father always told me that when we die, one of the things that will stop us from going to heaven would be those people who I could've helped in this world but I did nothing to help them, because I was busy being too self-absorbed. Why wouldn't they anyway? The life after this holds so much more justice that this world will ever have. And I don't want that to happen to me.

So once I've started working this year and I am more financially stable to support myself I would give it a better plan. And I am definitely going to ask my girlfriends (that'll be you guys, Hana, Odd, Zaza, etc) if they want to do something too. I mean, I'm sure it'll be a lot better if I have friends to do it with. And I am definitely sure that my girlfriends with their lucky lives would look forward to do something bigger than themselves too, right? Wink wink ;)

So, year 2009. Here's hoping for a life better lived, time well spent, and friends and family well loved. Peace out~